a night under the sky

music's playing in the background, its a dull night, the stars are shimmering less then normal. i stand here alone on this balcony - thinking- its always so painful when they dont twinkle like they used to. i often reassure myself that they will again. its just the fog over the deep blue sky. looking around me, there is no fog, its simply just a sullen evening. with my hands on the railing i lean over, i breathe as deep as my lungs will let me. taking in this freedom. even though this sky is dull and the stars aren't shimmering as they should. i still feel you near. i can see the ocean from here, the waves are faded in the nights mist, but i can hear them. they bring visions of you to my eyes. staring at the sky, staring into the blue, sinking into my thoughts. its amazing how this world is so beautiful. its only this beautiful because of you. each being, each object, each gust of wind, drop of water, it resembles you. its just my memories playing games again, but it keeps me here, smiling.

slowly i walk down the stairs on the left side of the balcony, making my way to the beach. the sand slowly sinking between my toes, my dress blowing in the nights wind. tears begin to fall. if only you were here. as i walk i think of you, i think of all those lovely things you would tell me. i play them over and over again. its my prescription for my depression, yet its also the cause of my tears. sitting down in front of the crashing waves, i in vision us how we should be. its still so hazy to me. but im pretty sure i have it all figured out. leaning back, letting my body hit the floor. i spread my arms out as i look at the sky. i can feel you looking back at me. i know your thinking of me. its the dream of all dreams, to finally take away this distance. the tears are still falling but slowly fading away, its as though you are here. consoling me, ridding me of my tears. i know i shouldn't cry. the wind is blowing my hair and dress every which way, i feel your warmth around me. i just want to lay here till you come back to me. i know you know where to find me love.

its nice being so far from street lights, even though its a hazy night, but im sure in time, these stars will be shimmering again. and with just having that hope, i will lay here all night, waiting for it, if the sun rises before they shine again, i will be here again the next night, waiting.

and some day soon love, when they are shining ever so brightly, you will be here, covered in sand as i am now, laying next to me staring up at the same very stars that i waited for you under.